Overachievers, as a general rule, are very bad at relaxing. Culturally, we are much more comfortable doing the work. Working hard is a capability, it’s a competence, and sometimes it's taken too far.
When someone tells me, a constant doer, to relax or that I have to recuperate and rest, I often think, "okay, I'm doing it now." But then I really get into the moment and think "well, this is very awkward for me." It's very uncomfortable. And I don't enjoy it.
Have you experienced anything similar? Relaxation feels lazy and hard. Maybe because your competency in it is zero. You haven't been taught how, never developed the knowledge in it. And it sounds like a strange thing that you would have to be taught to relax, but you absolutely do. You have to learn.
A practice that has helped me improve is to make a list of 10 or 20 things that rejuvenate me. At first, the list was quite generic things, but over time, they become more and more precise - if you pay attention to them. Mine list has things like gardening, yoga, paddle boarding, and listening to the sound of waves roll onto the beach; yours may be skiing, a good nap, or listening to certain music you love. It's a very signature thing that might not be the same for anyone else. But you come up with these building blocks of rest and relaxation. And they work for you uniquely.
Build your rituals for relaxing and recuperating by yourself and with others. Build the competency. And consider adding Shift Chocolates to your relaxation routine.
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